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Can’t she?!  Well I did and damn…..

I was up all night trying to figure out what I want to be & who I really am.  My husband is away for work until tomorrow & naturally I spend my time exploring my inner thoughts until way later then I need to.  At last, I finally drifted off to my happy place….

My family & I were  suddenly at “Frank’s” house….  with his family.  (What?  This isn’t really what I had in mind but it’ll do.)  We were invited there for an afternoon cookout & hanging out at the lake (in real life, Frank doesn’t live near a lake.)  I walked into another room to retrieve a few items from the diaper bag & suddenly there he was standing…..  staring at me very intently.  Since we have never been open about our feelings, this took me off guard; especially since we were ALL together.  Naturally other people would come into the room & the atmosphere immediately needed to change.  We each had a cocktail to ease the tension.  That didn’t help; it made it worse.  At one point he found me in a bathroom washing my hands, came up to me from behind, put his arms around me & kissed the side of my neck…. just under my ear… you know, the part where it tickles, yet really turns you on?!  Then whispered, “there is more of this to come when you see me next.”  As I melted for a moment, I realized that EVERYONE was still there & this couldn’t happen.  Not here, not now.  We both have way too much to lose.  Way too much.  Thankfully everyone else decided to retreat to the lake & did not notice that we were the only ones left in the house.  He made his way out; I busied my self & away we went.

Now back to real life….  I do really love my husband.  I do.  He just doesn’t care to listen.  Not that I would tell him any of this but I wonder, if he really did seem interested in what I have to say, do you think I’d even care about this silly little obsessive crush I have on Frank?  I don’t.  But then I think, who doesn’t have someone like Frank in their life?  Who doesn’t have someone that they “like” besides their significant other?  It doesn’t mean that you want to have this hot love affair with them, (I don’t think?) it just gives you another reason to get up in the morning & face the day.  And I really don’t need him to do that b/c I have some munchkins of my own that do that for me but you get the idea.

Tell me….  do you have a “Frank” in your life?  You think it’s wrong that I do?  Remember, in real life I’m pretty sure he knows me for who I am & enjoys our time together, but I doubt he has these obsessive thoughts about me!!  That would probably make me laugh 🙂

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