So the other night the husband & I were going over the schedules for January. He works A LOT & time off is precious to him. This also means that I work a lot; not in any sort of paying job, but being a Mom & house wife. I know, I know…. I’m the unappreciated Mom & housewife that cliches are born of. But I don’t think that’s how I feel. I know my kids love me & need me. I know my husband loves me but I feel that he thinks I do nothing worth mentioning. This hurts me. In my former life I had a very successful job, I could more then stand on my own 2 feet & my financial situation was better the most at a very young age. I was proud of the work I was doing (even if I hated my boss… see previous post). I gave all of that up to become a Mom & housewife. While I’m not going to complain about that, because that was a decision we both made.
Back to the story….. we were comparing schedules when I asked about having a day off. I was talking about an entire Saturday. Now, mind you, he works a lot but also hunts a lot in the fall. He was hunting every weekend for 3 months. I think I deserve some time to myself. Anyway, you might have thought I asked for a million dollars. He rolled his eyes at my request & said “give me a break”. I’ve never once hated my husband and I don’t think I did after the said that, but it’s probably the closest I’ve come to actually hating the man. Then he proceeded to lecture me about how I’m so miserable all of the time & it’s like I don’t even like staying home with the kids, blah, blah, blah. We both know that there is no way I’d still be doing this if I didn’t enjoy it.
After his comment I immediately shut down. I mutter something like “I’m so sick of feeling insignificant” and waste away to my FB page & try to find something worth reading. He says I have nothing to feel insignificant about. He reminds me of how much money he makes for our family & how I should do a better job of appreciating that. What? What does that have anything to do with how I feel insignificant to him? OK, so he does make a lot of money & it’s because of this I get to stay home with the kids. But he doesn’t see it as a job. He doesn’t think staying at home with the kids is a job. I don’t feel like I need to bow down to “working “people because they get paid for what they do and I don’t. But I think my husband thinks that same thing even though he completely denies it. I could be one of those trophy wives that spend every penny of their husband’s paycheck before it hits the bank, but I’m not. I’m the opposite. I spend money like we make $60k/year when in fact we make WAY WAY WAY more then that. I cook every meal I can because it’s healthier for us & it saves us a lot of money. I get the kids involved in a ton of activities that they wouldn’t otherwise have the chance to do.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is this….. everyone has a job to do. That job may not seem significant to you but what if no one did that job & you had to do it yourself. Would it make any difference? Don’t down play what other people do b/c they don’t have that high status job like you. Taking out your trash & cleaning up after you may not be the most stressful part of my day, but I could get a lot more higher priority items completed if I wasn’t spending my “insignificant time” babying said husband!