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Going back to my post about being insignificant….. you recall how I told my husband how I felt & why I was feeling that way.  I’ve learned from him over the years that it’s not that he doesn’t want to say “I’m sorry”, it’s that he won’t if doesn’t feel like he should.  He doesn’t think I have any reason to feel this way.  And from his perception, I don’t.  But I have to remember he’s an “only the lonely”…. it was always just him & his Mom.  There was no sharing of feelings, there was no extra money to do all the fun stuff that the rich kids got to do, there was no feeling sorry for yourself.  He never had to express himself or had anyone express anything to him.  (He’s a hard egg to crack, I’m telling you but I’m up for the job.)  So when I tell him he makes me feel insignificant, he only sees a wife that has everything, or has the means to everything & is still not happy.  He sees a someone who doesn’t appreciate his hard work & efforts into our family.

However, he must have been thinking about this as he’s made great strides in helping out and trying to make me believe he’s really in this for more then just being the househould money maker.  It’s been largely unspoken as I don’t think he totally gets it & therefore it will probably remain that way.  But, he’s trying.  I took an entire day to myself recently by sending the kids to a babysitter for an entire day.  It was fantastic.  He’s seen what happens when I get a day away.  An entire day to do what I want; not what the kids want or anyone else.  And he’s seen it’s not really much to ask.  So again, I say….  he really is trying 🙂

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