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I’m in a rut.  And it blows.  I really think I just need to quit my job and go back to school in the fall.  But why can’t I do it?  Why can’t I just leave and do it?  I think I’m looking for an excuse; permission if you will.  I don’t “quit” at anything and I think that’s what’s keeping me here.  But who wants to get fired?  I don’t…. really.  But I do want to leave this place.  I still do nothing.  My boss is still a douche bag.  I hate getting everyone out of the house on the days that I work because I really do feel like it is for nothing.

Also, the husband and I are back in our no sex rut.  He’s facing a huge month at work & is both mentally and physically exhausted.  Not that I blame him.  But come on….  how long can it really take?!?!  Back I go to my dreams & fantasies of Frank 🙂  Not that it’s a bad place to be but lets be realistic here.  I’m more then ready for some more time with him though.  A few tweeks to my schedule and I could probably make that happen.  We’ll see.

We are facing a busy spring like everyone else and I just feel like the walls are closing in on me.  My kids have cabin fever and are acting out in ways that make me want to cry.  They are monsters.

I really need some Frank time to pull me out of this.  I can’t put it on my husband to do it… he’s over loaded already & I’m carrying a lot of extra weight for him so he can keep plugging away at his career.  I’m hoping the paybacks of this justify it in the end.

This is such a depressing post 😦