I love attention. Problem: I’m pretty shy. I’m not a strong, outgoing leader. I lead by example. It’s what I’ve been taught. I do what I do well and wait for people to follow. If they don’t, well then, I guess I’m not what they are looking for in life. But I secretly wish I was. I wish I was exactly what they were looking for.
My husband does not pay much attention to me. He has a career that overtakes our family. I’m very happy that we are well off and he has a good job that allows us to live this way. But I’m not happy that I’m doing it alone.
Frank pays attention to me. He does it with grace and character and because he wants to. I know he wants to. I do what I do 99% of the time because I know it’s good for my kids. But lately that 1% seems so huge, that’s its starting to overtake me. I feel that in the small, short, distant times that I get to see Frank, he fills that void. It’s concerning that my own husband can not do this. Why? What has gone so wrong? I know but he won’t hear it….. his blackberry is buzzing with a text from work.