DISCLAIMER: I really only mean that I want “normal”, functional people to have more kids. Not those who can’t seem to take care of themselves, let alone their 10 tax deductions or attempted relationship savers. I don’t want those people to even have one child, let alone 10. If you are one of those people, please don’t have more kids thinking you are doing us a favor. Your one child will be just fine.
I have four siblings. I’m the second youngest. I live the closest to my parents and I have the youngest children. Therefore most of my mother’s attention is on me and my youngest sibling (brother) runs a very close second because of the “he’ll always be my baby” factor. There are many, many days when I would LOVE for him to have the top spot.
My husband is an only the lonely. I think I may have posted about this before.
I have one request: Do your kids a favor and have more then one child. Please. Some people think they are doing their child a favor so they can devote ALL of their attention into forming the perfect person. While that might be true, you are killing them and their future family with pressure and attention and your new son/daugther-in-law is going to secretly hate you. Or perhaps maybe if both were only children it wouldn’t be that bad because the other would understand more? Or worse yet, it would be double demands, coming from both ends and it would eventually cause both only’s to self-combust? I don’t know. But what I do know is this: the majority of mother’s that have only children annoy the crap out of me to no end. If you are an only child, you are it. YOU alone must attend every family function so YOUR mother’s side is represented. YOU alone have to make all of the mother’s day/birthday/anniversary arrangements or they’ll get super pissed off and think they are no longer needed. Even though you have a few kids of your own and are usually just trying to survive the terrible two’s, attitudes, soccer and basketball schedules.
Being in a family of 5 children takes off that pressure. Granted being the #1 favorite and only living granddaughter on one side does add some unwanted pressure, but if I can’t make it to an event, there are plenty of other options for representation. We are still missed and they know that, but they also know the schedule that it takes to operate a family of more then one child and therefore graciously accept our need to sit out of some events.
My husband is the most successful grandchild of my MIL’s side of her family. They all of relied on him for something at one time or another. Most are appreciative but there are a few that expect it as part of his profession and the fact that he is family. My MIL is so very proud of him and she should be. She raised a very successful man despite the very difficult situations and bad cards that were dealt. The rest of the family crumbled under these circumstances. And for some, they are still crumbling. It’s very evident why she wants us at EVERY event. And she’s very proud of her grandchildren for excelling the way they are while the rest are just sort of floundering around. I get that. I really do because I would want that too. But I would also understand if I REALLY wanted us there, I would ask ahead of time what dates would work or understand that if we can’t make it until half way through the party, but are willing to shuttle kids from one event to another on a Sunday for an additional 2 hour car ride just to in fact be there, that would be OK. But that’s not the case, instead she is pitching a fit because we can’t be there right at the start of this event so everyone can see us for an additional 2 hours. This 2 hours is apparently breaking her. Perhaps if she would have had another child, these 2 hours would blow by before she realized it and we would all enjoy ourselves. Instead the main act will be 2 hours delayed and the children will have to perform their latest tricks for all to see all the while we’ll hear “wish you would’ve been here earlier, we are just about to eat and then everyone has to go home” because despite my planning, organizing and rushing to get everyone to the proper places at the proper time, it won’t be good enough.