, , , , , ,

I’m originally from a VERY small town.  Like 700 people small.  After graduation I left for bigger waters.  It was only an hour away but far enough to remove myself from the local gossip circles.  I’m proud to have lived in a small town for as many years as I think it teaches you a lot more about community.  Or maybe a better way to say it, it’s easier to be involved in the community.

After I got married, I decided to move back to a small town. Not the town I grew up in (that’s just too small) but one of about 4000 people.  I see a lot of the same small town b.s. with the different groups of people, and how they look at you when you walk into a local establishment because they don’t know you.  Even the local Mom’s have rejected us because we are transplants!  (Not to worry, I found other fellow transplants and we started our own damn group, bitches!)  So you can see, I’m not anti small town or anything!

There is something about the people that grow up in these towns and NEVER leave though.  About 10 years ago or so it seemed everyone was getting married.  We had 12 weddings to go to in one summer.  It was seriously our entire summer.  Fun times!  But now things are changing.  Most of the people married people from the town.  Neither one of them ever leaving the same 700 people they’ve always known.  At some point nature takes it’s course and couples get restless.  They’ve been doing the same thing with the same people for like 20 years!  So what do they do??  I’m pretty sure it looks like this:

Everyone  shifts 2 houses; (ex)husbands move on to the house 2 doors to the right, (ex) wives move on to the house 2 doors to the left. They all just rotate husband/wives there!!  It’s no joke.  Just about all of them are going through some sort of separation or divorce and are hooking up (and sometimes it’s just that since they are probably still married) with the person 2 doors down.  Well how long do you think it takes for someone to find out about this?!  Usually within 24 hours someone saw someone some place with someone other then their spouse and away we go.   People are getting together with people I’ve never thought possible.  Age is not a factor as some of my high school classmates are hooking up with friend’s Dad’s/Mom’s… it’s really an ugly situation!!  10 years age difference is no big deal for some of these people.  (Not that a large age gap is bad, I’ve never dated anyone less then 5 years older then me.)  I go back to my hometown a few times a year just to see who’s hooked up with who.  At least it’s entertaining because it usually takes about 5 min to catch up with these people because nothing else ever changes!!  Perhaps one day they’ll figure out a better way to invoke change?  Probably not…