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I probably titled one this already but that’s about how I feel about this particular topic right now.  Last night in my hazy, sleepless night, I decided to stalk a few people that I know.  This is never a good idea, especially with a few cocktails down and the inability to sleep.  Anyway, I haven’t been able to see Frank lately so I decided to see what he’s been up to.  Bad idea.  Bad idea. Bad idea.  Note to self:  Never, ever do this again. Of course I find recent pictures of him out and about with his family like normal.  Awe cute 🙂  I am able to “crop” out his wife and kids and adore just him.  So what’s so bad about this that I should never do this again???  I find pictures of him with his tongue down another woman’s throat!!!  OK, OK…. so the other woman was his wife but the image is STUCK in my head.  Literally stuck.  My Frank suckin’ face with his wife.  This is not the picture I want in my head of him.  It’s not like I don’t expect this to happen or anything, because after all, I do the same (not exactly) with my husband because that is what married people!  But I didn’t expect it to be stuck in my head!!!  Damn it, it just won’t leave.  It’s like he’s staring at me while kissing his wife.  I don’t know.  I need someone to shake me or something to rattle it loose so it just goes away.  We’ve been in this phone tag game because we are both afraid of the consequences of someone finding out who we are.  This just shouldn’t be this difficult.  I think of him and my heart aches because I know it’s not right.  I know 100% that this is wrong.  But he just makes me feel incredible when I’m with him.  It’s like I’m in another world where only the two of us exist.  And then I leave and it’s like he needs to remain this distant memory; something that happened years ago and it might be OK to reminisce but not OK to go beyond that.  

Today I also spent a short time with Mr. G.  The best part about this is that I almost called him Mr. G.!!!  Anyway, I also spent a good amount of this time wondering how this man is even allowed to enter my mind.  He’s like my greatest mystery.  (That’s sad, I know.)  I’m pretty excited to meet his wife for some reason.  Another lady asked about her  and he was VERY discreet about mentioning her.  It was almost as if he was afraid to say her name in my presence.  It was odd yet, well, I guess it really was just odd.  I’m very well aware that he is married and that she is older than him.  But what the hell gives??  I’m not afraid to mention my husband in conversation??  Whatever.  Probably just a product of his age or something.  Either way…  tomorrow is going to be entertaining and I’m greatly looking forward to it.   

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