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We all live by certain beliefs and make our choices accordingly.  Some people will only eat organic food while others are more about the quick and easy processed stuff.  Some people feel that everything happens for a reason and the good Lord is in control while other’s pass blame at Him and everything bad that happens.  I’m all for people standing up for what they believe in; even if it’s not what I believe in.  Some times it’s really hard to bite my tongue because I feel what they believe in is completely ignorant.  Sometimes I fail at this.

I bring this up because I have a friend that is paying dearly for her ignorant, bad choice.  Now….  I understand the odds of this event happening and it’s out of the ordinary.  I know that many others make the same choice she did every day and everything is fine.   Here’s the situation:   “K” is one of those women who vow to be different.  I’ve known her since I was 10 years old.  She’s eccentric.  She’s out there.  She loves picking the other way and fighting for her right to do so.  She’s dramatic.  She’s God fearing.  She’s a wonderful person.  She’s a good friend.  She’s a mother.  She became pregnant with her 2nd child and believes 110% on natural birthing and doula/midwife overseeing her care.  So at this point she’s not really so different, right?  Fine.  This is the thing these days and people are entitled to this type of care.  I happen to have the most wonderful OB in the entire world and is 110% behind all of my choices as long as it doesn’t have a negative impact on my health or that of the baby.  So if I don’t want an epidural (which I never have) I don’t have to worry about him talking me into it.  If I don’t want to induce at 4o wks because I’m largely uncomfortable, I don’t have to.   K hired a Douala for her first child and apparently everything was wonderful.  K hired another for her 2nd.  Not so much.  Her baby is now in a hospital fighting for her life because her stupid f’n douala doesn’t know how to read a damn ultrasound.  No, take that back.  Doesn’t know enough about fetal development to wait until the heart should be fully developed to have the ultrasound so you can take a look at the heart and make sure it’s fully developed and if it’s not, have your flower child deliver her baby in an actual hospital capable of taking care of this baby and FIXING her heart so she isn’t brain damaged for the rest of her life.  She’s like 8 days old and it is VERY possible she has permanent brain damage from something that could have been prevented and handled correctly.  K very much believed that her way was the right way to go.  She had “the most wonderful birth” with her first and wouldn’t change it for the world.  Well, me either.  Only I buy insurance…. I made sure that my OB knew what I wanted, what I expected to happen if things were “normal”.  He knew how I wanted to labor and he knew that I trusted him 110% that if shit hit the fan, he was going to take over and I would abide by his care.  I made sure there was a NICU in the same building that was fully staffed and available to care for our baby if something didn’t go right.  Normal people make sure that something this precious has a damn plan B.  K didn’t have a plan B because of the “odds”.  K is now sitting next to her baby girl in a hospital praying to God to help correct her stupid choice.  We all praying to God that K and baby girl are being spared any long term damage and praying that she learns that while Douala’s are cool, they aren’t the same as f’n doctors (OB’s) and shouldn’t be treated as such.  Even the best, all natural birthing coaches know to birth in an actual hospital with an actual doctor overseeing your care.

Choices, people.  Choices.  It is possible to stick to our beliefs while making good choices.  Even if the odd’s are 1 in a million; there’s still that 1 out there and you aren’t exempt.  Don’t believe me?  Ask the girl who is sitting in the NICU in a hospital hundred’s of miles away from her friends/family praying her daughter not only lives but lives a normal life.