The two week wait has ended. After a great weekend with family and friends, I pulled out the test from the back of the cupboard yesterday morning. I waited until the husband left for work and the kids were still sleeping. Every other time I do this, I’m almost certain of the outcome and seeing the “not pregnant” flash on the screen or the lack of “plus” sign in the window. But this time was different. This time my temps have been all over the place but for the past 2 days have been beyond elevated. I was unofficially late (according to my fertility friend app) and the fact that I needed to pee every 30 minutes was only confirming what the test showed. I’m pretty sure it turned positive just being near the urine flow b/c it didn’t take 3 min for the plus sign to appear. It was instant. I sat there trying to take in the confirmation. I couldn’t decide what I was thinking. My heart didn’t hit the floor in pure devastation because I obviously knew what I was getting into. I wasn’t completely over joyed that I needed to call my husband immediately. I just sat there. Then decided it was best to take a shower and figure out how I was going to tell him. At some point I realized that I wasn’t 100% convinced I was only a few weeks along b/c my last months cycle was so odd and my temps this month were all over the board. Shit…. how much did I drink in the last month? Answer: more then enough. This could explain a laundry list of oddities. But then again maybe not.
I spent the next 30 minutes contemplating the best way to rearrange the kids in the bedrooms and who was going to go where. I need a new car b/c mine won’t fit all of us anymore. So I thought about that. My husband has been saying he wants me to have a van. I’m not the van type. This is not going to be a fun conversation. Then it hit me. This baby is due probably the end of September. This is the start of his hunting season. Oh shit. He is not going to be happy about this. Damn it. Poor “planning”. Now I’m upset because I don’t think I can handle him being disappointed over a baby. My plan: find a way to tell him that is cute and funny so he gets the warm fuzzy feelings first before he thinks about the due date!
I searched probably 100 different pages of ways to tell your husband your are pregnant. None of them seemed like it was going to work for us. Either one, he would think the idea is stupid (ie – he’s really not a “warm fuzzy” type of guy) or two, it’s impractical. The best one I read was baking some “buns” and having him correlate the “bun in the oven” saying. But I thought that was pretty far fetched for him to figure out. So I came up with my own!
Got home late, put the kids to bed. After cleaning up the kitchen a bit and getting things organized for the next day and seeing the husband relaxing on the couch, I headed into the kitchen. I grabbed one red bowl and one blue bowl. I put a few scoops of ice cream in along with a pickle and a stick of licorice. I walked them over to the living room couch and sat down with him. I offered him a bowl and this is how the conversation went:
me: “snack with me, will you?” as I handed him the blue bowl
husband: “Sure. Thanks. Wait, what is this?”
me: “what?” I have a horrible poker face and seeing his face as he looked at the pickle?!!
husband: “What the hell is this?”
me: (I can no longer look at him and now I’m laughing)
husband: “What the hell is wrong with you? What is so funny and why do I have this?”
me: head buried in a pillow, laughing, and through sobs….”I just wanted some pickles and ice cream!”
husband: “Why in the hell would you want pickles and ice cream?? (his fury now turns to laughs) Holy shit, are you pregnant?? Seriously??”
me: now I’m looking up at him, still laughing and crying “sure am”
husband: now very noticeably happy and excited “why are you crying? aren’t you happy about it?”
me: “I am happy, scared and anxious but more so worried about your response”
husband: “Seriously? How would I not be excited about this?”
me: “I don’t know. You just said you weren’t sure you wanted another kid anymore b/c of ‘starting over’ with a newborn is just so much work and we are almost passed the point of dealing with that”
husband: “True, but this is really exciting and the wait is over and the decision is over and I’m very happy. Wait, when is this baby due? How far along are you? Damn… please say not November.”
me: “you’re really bad at this… baby is due end of September. Unless I’m off a month, then late August, early Sept.”
husband: “Oh good. I wasn’t really excited to have my entire hunting season ruined. But I can handle Sept or earlier! Now stop crying or laughing or whatever that is you are doing!!”
So there you have it. I’m pregnant and the baby name fights have already begun!
And for the record, I’m not sure who decided that pickles and ice cream are a pregnant lady’s crave but it’s probably one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever tried.