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I’m one of those weird people that can remember vivid details of their dreams.  It drives my husband crazy.  He can’t remember what he dreams half of the time or maybe he’ll only remember what it was about but nothing more than that.  No details.  

I keep having these dreams about the men in my past.  Old boyfriends, flings, friends with benefits….  those type of people.  In the dream I am going through a divorce from my real life husband.  I always end up dating one of the “ex’s” and feeling trapped in the relationship and NOT wanting to be there.  I get so upset with myself for agreeing to date them again when I don’t even want to be near them.  I’ll be having sex with them in my dream and I’m literally just laying there, doing nothing, hating life!!  It’s awful.  I never wish I was just back with my husband, I just wish I wasn’t there.  And that’s the gist of it.  It’s the same dream over and over again but with different a different “ex”.  

The funny part about each dream is the men are the same as they were when I “dated” them but I am me, how I am now in real life.  I get to see, all over again, the reasons I parted ways with these guy’s.  I see all of their faults or reasons I couldn’t be with them all over again.  I wake up SOOOOO thankful it was a dream because I can’t imagine living life like that.  I can’t imagine that level of unhappiness.

Maybe on some level I’m wondering if I made the right decision to be with my husband.  Or maybe I’m dwelling on the past too much and it’s a reminder that I need to hold on tight to what I have?