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I’ve been having these very vivid dreams of another man.  Every night they continue almost where they left off.  It’s incredible.  The problem is I know this other man in real life.  I find him attractive but not really anything beyond that.  I see him almost every day and work along side of him on a few committee’s at my daughter’s school.  

My dream series started with him and I leaving a dinner party at the same time and neither of our spouses attended.  We had some wine but only enough to break the awkward stage so we were talking casually but since we were both driving we weren’t easily influenced.  As we walked further away from the house and towards our cars (which happen to be parked next to each other a decent distant away) we both start to realize that we are almost there and the conversation would need to end.  Our pace slows and our conversation continues. Before either one of us realizes it, we are practically flirting with each other.  Suddenly I feel like I had way too much to drink as I’m getting giddy and the butterflies are starting are swarming in my stomach.  As we reach my car I feel his arm on my shoulder and he lets me know how much he appreciates the work I’m doing for the school and the kids.  I’m thankful for the darkness to hide my blushing cheeks.  We talk briefly about what we are trying to accomplish there and I let him know I appreciate the acknowledgement from him.  As I say this I brush closer to him pretending to be moving closer to my car to test the waters a bit.  He grabs my hand and says he feels so awkward right now but he can’t help but go with it.  We laugh about it and are suddenly nervous about people seeing us.  It’s dark, no one else is around.  He apologizes for taking advantage of the situation as both of us are happily married and I’m pregnant and so is his wife (all of this very true in real life, we are due just a few weeks apart).  I let him know there is no need for apologies because we are adults, drank some wine (apparently it’s OK to be tipsy on wine while pregnant in this dream?!) and  both feeling a bit caught up in the moment.  He agrees, kisses me on the forehead and pulls me in for a caring, tender embrace.  Mind you this man stands at least one foot taller then I am.  I’m a bit uncomfortable with this at first but apparently not enough to pull away.  He pulls away, hands on my shoulders and says he’s happy for our moment together.  I let him know the feeling is mutual and if we don’t go our separate ways now we never will.  He grabs my hands, says good night and away we go.

The next night I pick up almost where we left off.  Only this time we are working at school together and he is wanting to discuss our night.  No one is around and I agree to talk about it although I’m not sure what there is to talk about.  He wants me to know he is very sincere about his thoughts of me but I need to know that it ends there.  I let him know I agree and hope we can continue working together without feeling too awkward.  And so we do.  A few days pass….  I continue to see him almost daily but almost intentionally avoid him as I need a few days to get him out of my mind and see him for what I used to see him as.  He corners me one day and demands to know what is going on.  I tell him I’m having inappropriate thoughts about him and I need them to go away.  I don’t have intentions of acting on them but he is in my thoughts more then he should and therefore I need some space to make them go away.  He tells me he’s been thinking about me way more then he should and me avoiding him is making it worse.  He feels as though he’s losing a friend over a silly after dinner conversation that probably never should have happened.  I tell him I didn’t think it was silly, I thought it was serious and maybe if I thought of it as “silly” I wouldn’t feel the need to avoid him.  He reminds me of our situation and we agree to attempt to continue our friendship and move on.  The next day we are talking about random school/kid stuff and at the same time we realize that we are fixated on each other’s eyes.  Suddenly I can no longer remember what I was talking about and it’s very apparent that he’s not listening anyway.  He says he can feel my pain.  He can see that I don’t feel wanted at home and it’s killing him.  I don’t want to talk about it, we agreed not to go there and he’s breaking that agreement.  He really wants to be a friend.  He really wants to know more.  We agree to a “meeting” the next day in his office, during school hours to avoid any unnecessary attention.  We meet in his office, I discuss what my situation at home is and he is very sad and hurt because he doesn’t want me to feel that way.  He wants to fix it.  He wants to be the man to make me feel wanted.  WHAT??  

The third night….  Apparently I’m OK with leaving my husband and he left his wife.  We are playing with my kids and having a great time.  He steals kisses from me while the kids aren’t looking.  He touches me on the shoulders, holds my hands, tells me he loves me at random times and I’m in heaven.  I finally feel loved.  I feel so guilty because my kids are separated from their mom and dad.  I feel happy that I was able to make my decision and it seems as though everything fell in line and we are all fine.  Everyone around me notices that I’m happy and I can’t stop kissing him and being near him and he appreciates it.  I can’t stop thinking about how happy everyone is and the stress of a relationship is no longer on my shoulders.  

So that’s my dreams.  In real life, I feel funny when I see him at school.  I notice him looking at me more and I laugh because I never would have noticed this if I had not dreamed about him night after night.  I throw him a flirty smile to see how he responds sometimes and I crack up laughing on the inside because it’s so funny to me.  He has no idea he has invaded my dreams and never in a million years would I tell him!