Yes, that’s me. 21 weeks of pure hugeness.
I don’t know what it is about seeing other pregnant women and they all seem to beautiful. Completely comfortable in their swollen bodies and showing it off with grace. Then there is me. I aim for that look every morning before I take my kids to school. I think, “today is the day I will feel beautiful even though I’ve already gained 20 lbs.” But it never is. I don’t feel beautiful. This is my last pregnancy and I am enjoying it. I love feeling the baby move and I love my big belly. It holds something most precious and I smile every time I see it move.
It’s hard to bond with my husband the way it is. Being pregnant only makes it worse. I swear I disgust him with my hugeness. I don’t think he’s really attracted to me at all. He never compliments me on how I look. I mention anything about the baby and I might as well be talking about a pretty rock I saw on the ground. I’m not sure he is doing this intentional. But I do know he’s just not into it. I guess that’s understandable. The only part of pregnancy he gets to experience is an overly large wife.
Blah…. This is where my own world starts. I dream up shit to make myself feel better and put myself through some sort of personal, attention getting challenge. Like some sort of physical challenge. I start to conjurer up things that will get him uncomfortable enough to finally notice what is going on. This weekend I will be running. I will be pushing my pregnant limits (safely of course and most definitely doctor approved and supported! Did I mention I love my doctor?!). The running program I coach will be doing their first race and as their coach, I join in the fun. I’m not a sit and watch type of coach! The following day will be my first pregnant half marathon! I’m nervous and excited at the same time. My husband hates the idea but that only makes me want to do it more. My doctor loves the idea and quite clearly told my husband he is in full support of me, at our appointment yesterday. Is it wrong that as the words were coming out of my the doctors mouth I wanted to stick out my tongue at my husband and tell him “I told you so”????
Some days I’m not sure how we even stay married. We are so opposite in most instances that we don’t even have that natural attraction. Ughhhh… then again maybe it’s just the pregnancy hormones??