Saw Frank again. This is getting crazy. I heard his voice coming from another room while at an office the other day. I was in a smaller room, alone, waiting for an appointment. He was engaging in conversation with a young woman and I could tell by her voice she was flirting with him. I giggled a bit to myself wondering if I ever sounded like that. He was being professional with her but I thought about that twinkle in his eye when he was trying to be “professional” with me and that maybe she could see it as well. Who wouldn’t get all flirty if they saw that? I certainly wouldn’t blame her if she did! As their conversation ended I heard him walk down the hall towards the room where I was in. My heart stopped briefly I think and a huge lump formed in my throat. As his steps draw nearer I could hear him clear his throat, throw out a few orders to an assistant and continue his approach. As he got to the room where I was seated he immediately stopped and looked in as if he knew I was there. Odd? He politely greeted me and told me I looked great. A smile naturally appears on my face and I feel it brighten up. I walks in, takes a seat next to me and we chat a bit. I hear people walking by and wonder if they find it odd that we are sitting so close to each other as we converse. And then suddenly I don’t care. I don’t care if my husband walked in and watched us interact this way. I don’t care if a million TV cameras are watching our every move waiting for some dishy gossip. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m pregnant and my hormones are really at odds or what. But I seriously didn’t have a care in the world at that time and it was heaven.
At some point I needed to stand up and switch positions because baby was trying to shoot out all sorts of places that it shouldn’t. Frank instinctively reaches for my hand to help me up. As I grab it I can feel this sensation shooting through my entire arm and down my leg. I couldn’t decide if it hurt so good or so bad. Either way I needed to sit back down and he assisted with that, too. As I returned to my seat I could feel my heart racing. It felt like my face was on fire and the hot flashes were taking over. I tried to talk through it and although I was cooling down I could tell that it was very evident that I was unable to control my feelings. I thought for sure he was going to get up and walk away. But he didn’t. He thought something was really wrong and I suggested it was just pregnancy symptoms, they would go away shortly. Haha…. they’ll go away when he leaves the room and is out of my head!!
Our time was nearing an end as my appointment would be starting soon so I let him know I’d be back there in 2 weeks. He reached out towards me with his hand and for whatever reason I just grabbed it. I don’t know if that was his intent or what but it just happened. He firmly gripped it and it rested on my overly large pregnant stomach. I couldn’t help by stare right back into his icy blue eyes. He was looking right through me. As if he couldn’t bare the thought of looking at me. It was odd but the grip on his hand was telling me otherwise. He helped me to my feet once more, let go of my hand, and started for the doorway. He turned back in my direction just before walking through and said he’d see me in 2 weeks, or sooner if I’d like. My only response was “sounds good”. Wait….. what? “or sooner if you’d like”????? And before I could even process that thought he was gone. What the hell does that mean?
Some how I was able to regain my composure and continue on with my appointments and get home. Every thought was of Frank. Is of Frank is probably more like it. Again. Where did this come from? In a way I’m hoping its a huge mind game that he is playing so I can hate him for it and never have to have conflicting thoughts again. Then again, I’m thinking that maybe we do have a strong connection yet and we shouldn’t try and pretend it doesn’t exist. Good Lord, why now??
I guess we’ll have to see what happens in 2 weeks. I did tell him I’d be back there. He sounded like he would be too. I have no intention on taking him up on the “sooner” invitation because I’m not even sure what I’d say or do. Ughhh… 2 weeks is an eternity.