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This past weekend I went with my husband to his class reunion.  He hasn’t been to one yet and this was his 20th.  Why this year?  Lord knows.  He says this is actually the first one he’s received an invitation for.  His class was almost 400 people so I guess that’s understandable. 

I wasn’t really looking forward to going.  He has only kept in contact with 3 or so people from his class and only 1 would be attending.  She happens to be an ex-girlfriend that lives half a country away from us.  I’ve never met her but he’s always been open about them keeping in touch.  She’s married but no children.  We’ve attempted to catch up with her numerous times when she’s been back to the area but something always gets in the way.  Anyway, the point is, there is no threat there.

A little background story…  He dated a girl his senior year named Amy.  It was the first girl he ever had sex with.  Their relationship ended with him going to the Marine Corp for the summer and she went a little off the deep end.  Well, as any 17 year old decent looking girl can do.  She found a few other guys to keep her occupied.  But who can’t forget their first sexual partner?  Apparently my husband.  Which is why I know this information!  She hooked up with her now husband and MY husband has never really gotten over it.  Honestly 20 years later he still hates this man like no other.  The semester after he got back from basic training, he contacted Amy and she happened to come “visit” him instead of going to see her boyfriend (now husband) and this was a clear, solid victory in my husband’s eyes.  He got her to lie to her boyfriend to come to see him.  He thinks her boyfriend never knew about it.  Years have gone by and as far as I know they haven’t been in contact for the past 13 years.  

As we head into the school we see this mystery woman who claimed my husband’s virginity his senior year of high school.  I’ve talked myself into being a normal, civil, non-psycho wife who can clearly accept the fact that my husband had sex with women before he met me and we were about to meet a few of them.  It’s not like I was a virgin, myself, when I married the man.  So no big deal right?  He sees Amy.  He hugs her and introduces us.  She’s very nice.  She looks a lot like her high school year book picture, which I find slightly odd but I guess maybe I’m not too far off of mine either.  They make small talk and she heads off to greet more long lost friends.  Yay, one down like 4 to go……

The next girl we meet is the girl he’s always kept in contact with.  I was shocked by her appearance.  My husband is very particular with how his women look so I was expecting some very beautiful girl that he would keep in contact with.  She was very plain looking and extremely nice.  She greeted me very kindly and we actually were able to hold a conversation.  

After the tour I concluded that my husband got me all worked up over nothing regarding meeting his ex’s and after the first 2 (which are the only two he’s either admitted to “loving” or wanting to date) I figured I could handle whatever else was thrown at me.

We left the school and went to the bar that his parent’s owned while he was growing up.  He just wanted to check it out and see what it was like.  He quickly downed 3 drinks in the time it took me to handle half a 7up.  He proceeded to tell him he was going to get pretty drunk and that he was probably going to be sick the next morning.  For whatever reason this drove me instantly insane.  I’m as large as a house, meeting all of his ex-flames and the guys he used to hang out with and he’s going to just get slammed.  Awesome.  I pretended to not be annoyed and quickly changed the subject.  He kept bringing it up and telling me if I was going to be crabby about everything he was going to leave me home.  Like that was some sort of threat.  I quickly, and happily suggested that it was entirely OK for him to do so because I wasn’t thrilled about going anyway.  Apparently this took him by surprise.  It was as if the only reason I was going was to keep an “eye” on him with all his “girls”.   I requested that he only stay coherent enough to give me directions back to his parents house where we were staying.  Not a word was said.

We arrive at the reunion.  We are greeted by a few people I’ve already met at the school tour.  It was nice.  He offered to get me water and didn’t even leave me abandoned at a table while doing so.  We meet Suzanne (the girl he still contacts) and she’s all dolled up, reminding me of Sarah Jessica Parker.  We meet Amy who also changed into a nice, tasteful dress.  We meet her husband, who my husband struggled to shake hands with and he was very nice.  Instantly I decide to engage in a conversation with him because I know my husband would be pissed.  Why???  Because just minutes before we arrived he proceeds to tell me how much he hates this man and he just wants to tell him that 15 years ago, Amy ditched him last minute to spend the weekend and they went at it like rabbits.  Game over.  Why the fuck are we still holding on to this?????  Seriously.  Get f’n over it.  I’m so annoyed and almost hurt.  I casually tell my husband he has issues and to grow up.  So back to my pissing him off….  It was only a few minutes of small talk and it was over.  Clearly everyone, Amy and my husband, were slightly shocked by this.  I called it a success.  Probably a very childish one but come on people…. I’m 8 months pregnant, large as a house and now I have to cut sexual tension between my husband and his “first”?!?!?  Fuck this.

As the night went on we met a lot more of his friends and their wives and it was actually fun.  I wasn’t on the lookout for Amy but it was clear she was on the lookout for us.  Every moment my husband was “unattended” (which usually lasted for 30 sec max while I threw a cup of water away or something) that she was over by him.  She didn’t leave him the second I showed up but it was obvious she wanted to talk to him without me there.  At one time, she followed me to the bathroom, but not in it, knowing my husband would finish and come out before me.  Of course as I came out they would be talking and it would be weird.  He claims they were just catching up on old times.  Probably.  Whatever.  I don’t care.  At all….  well, mostly not at all.  She only made one truly awkward comment about the last time they got together or met up after they graduated from college and then asked what they did.  Ummmmm……  I’m pretty sure that was obvious and no one said a thing.  Excellent.  I was tempted to fake some strong labor contractions just to get the fuck out of there.  

We promptly left after that lovely moment and went home.  I said nothing.  He pretended the conversation never happened.  He wasn’t hammered drunk but you could tell he had enough.  At one point during the night Amy’s husband came by us and engaged in a conversation with my husband.  He was very nice and laughed and joked about a few things.  I thought it was very nice.  He said it was only to spite him.  Whatever.  Grow your 38 year old ass up, put your big boy undies on and accept the fact that you aren’t in high school anymore even though the whole night I could tell he was reliving it.  

It was obvious that seeing Amy brought back a ton of old feelings and emotions.  For both of them.  But be honest about it.  Don’t treat me like an ass because you are ashamed of it or whatever.  I’m a big girl.  I can handle the conversation.  I can’t handle the denial of it when it’s so obvious.  He apparently doesn’t think like that.

Onward and upward…..