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That about sums it up for how I feel these days.  Frank is still lingering around my mind more then I want him do.  I’m trying really hard to not think about him but it seems like everything I see or do reminds me of him.  Of course it doesn’t help that now, of all times, I am seeing him more then usual.  I’m fighting every urge to call him even though he’s made it clear that he would love to talk to me.  I just can’t do it.  I know I’ll get sucked in again only to be put through another separation period and that just plain sucks.  

He just makes me feel good about myself.  He doesn’t care about what I’ve been able to get done with my day or not.  When I say this pregnancy has got me all messed up, he doesn’t just roll his eyes and tell me he just can’t wait for this baby to be out so we can move on passed the pregnancy pains.  When he asks how I’m doing, I really feel like he’s concerned.  He’s not just asking because that’s what he needs to do.  

The husband has entered his world of solitude once again.  I’m not ready to pull him out of it just yet.  I’m dealing with it OK but possibly this weekend we’ll have another chat about what it means to be married again.  I know if I let it go too long, it will be one big blow out.  I’m not up for that.  This is another reason I can’t let Frank in…. I can’t have that be the reason I’m so unhappy.  Only because I can’t have him and be happy.  There is no point in longing after something you just can’t have.  

 

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