, , , , ,

Can time stand still and fly by at the same time?  I spent an hour with Frank yesterday and it felt like 5 minutes.  It went so fast.  At the same time I felt time stand still.  I needed this time.  I’ll see him again in 2 weeks.  His work schedule is very busy.  I find this ironic.  My husband is swamped at work.  Not enough time in the day.  Very stressed about everything.  Frank is the same.  Yet, he finds a few minutes in his day to see how I’m doing.  Some how I am a priority, if only for 5 minutes, and it’s like he’s saved his entire day for me.  I just want to throw that out there on a huge, highlight sign with Vegas style lights for my husband to see.  And it’s not like I get his full attention for 5 minutes every day,  It’s 5 minutes a week, at most.  Is he afraid at some point I won’t be satisfied with that either?  I can’t imagine I would.  I’m not a “give an inch take a mile” type of girl.  

I am so conflicted.  It’s like he sees how troubled I am and just wants to help.  Is that possible?  I mean we had such a connection prior to me being pregnant.  He never really asked about my husband before or how our relationship was going.  We’d mention it but it was never an actual discussion.  Now that’s what we are talking about…..  how I’m doing.  How I’m feeling.  What I need.  Where I want to be.  It makes my heart happy to talk to him.  I know this is what I’m longing for from my husband and I’m getting it from him.  But he seems so genuine.  As in, not trying to turn this into some wild affair…  he really does want me to be happy.  

I do love my husband and I see that he is trying harder with the kids.  That makes me happy.  I just wonder when it’s my turn.