It’s almost over. Thursday is the day the husband goes in for the big “V”. We (read: I) can not handle any more babies. I am forcing him into this because I have so many issues with birth control pills and hormone imbalance. He is capable of doing this but he doesn’t want to. I’m leaving him no choice; mostly out of principle now. There is no good reason for him to not have this done. He’s complained to me and wants me to get my parts taken care of. I don’t think so. My parts have been butchered enough, it’s your turn sunshine. Why are men such puss bags over this? Even my OB (who’s had this done as well) says it’s a mindless procedure and if you follow the recovery directions you’ll be just fine… I don’t get what’s the big deal? It’s not like they chop it off?! It still works the same as it did before. The only difference is after Thursday it will but shooting blanks. Well, that’s the goal anyway.
We can not have any more children. I can’t do any more of this on my own. I am burning the candle at both ends and I’m fighting a nasty recovery. It makes me sad, in a way, to know that this part of my life is now over. No more babies. Never again will I be pregnant. I’m still watching friends have their second & third babies and I’m all done already. I wonder if I’ll ever want #4 even though I know that it will put me over the edge. But then again, I think about the times when we were on the fence for #3 and my little guy was finally independent enough where it was fairly easy to pick up and go and do whatever we wanted. The thought of starting over again terrified me because I was really starting to enjoy my time with just the two of them. And then I found out I was pregnant and I was happy and sad and mad all at once. It’s that feeling that overcomes you that you know there is no turning back. The “oh God what have I done….” feeling that hits you like a ton of bricks and there are no take backs.
I really did enjoy this last pregnancy. There was a lot of baggage that went with it that I didn’t like and a lot of times I wished I wasn’t pregnant, only because I wanted a few cocktails with the girls, or to be thin in a swimsuit on the beach! I knew it was the last one so I did everything I could to etch those memories, those feelings, those emotions, into my brain. I will forever remember those first flutters of baby movement. I will forever remember the sound of her heart the first time I heard it. The hiccups that make you so ungodly uncomfortable but the reassurance that she is healthy and well. The anticipation of labor and wondering if the contractions are real or not. The pain of labor and challenge that lies ahead of pushing that baby out. The excitement of waiting to hear those words, “It’s a boy”, “It’s a girl”. It was the greatest, most anxious, most wonderful time. The feeling of that baby being out of your belly in and your arms is indescribable. It’s a moment that so many of us get to enjoy and yet so many who are unable to. I LOVE the miracle of birth. I love every part of it. And it makes me sad I won’t get to do it again. But it also makes me happy knowing there are no longer decisions to be made in that department. We are a finally of 5 and I love that the most 🙂
impossibletopredict 
I don’t envy you, its a tough decision. My next post is all about my conflicting feelings on pregnancy (I have only been pregnant twice). I know what you mean about birth control and I think the big V is a good option, but you are right, its scary because its permanent. Congratulations on your beautiful family.
Thank you! Decision made – today was his day.
Honestly, having had this procedure done years ago the most difficult part is having your junk pulled through a plastic sheet and viewed by at least a couple people.
Some men see it as a loss of virility but it really isnt. It pretty much means you can have sex pretty much whenever timing permits
He thought it was awful that he had 2 beautiful nurses shaving his junk. However he was under the impression that he was going to be in stir-ups with his bung-hole hanging out for the world to see so turns out it wasn’t so bad. 🙂
If they had to go through my ass to get at it I may have wanted to bolt too.