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The husband had the big V today.  Some things came to light today after his procedure.  

-1-  We should have had a much needed conversation PRIOR to 9am.  

-2-  I’m feeling a slight amount of guilt for making HIM go through a procedure when I could have easily had it done to myself.  Note I said “slight”.  I don’t feel THAT bad.

-3-  He is a stubborn, stubborn man.  So stubborn that it’s stupid and dumb and my sympathy for his feeling uncomfortable is at an all time low.  And that’s pretty bad because I am pretty sympathetic for people in pain.  

-4- His way of dealing with any emotional psychological issues is to be a rude, mean man.  To which he expects me to just suck it up, know he isn’t trying to be mean and move on.  Um…. No.

Apparently he’s been fretting over this for the past week.  He’s not said one word to me about it.  After his procedure he decides to tell me he feels weird knowing he is sterile.  He’s actually having a hard time with it.  I suspect this will get better with a good night’s sleep but that doesn’t seem to be in his immediate future.  I knew all along that he didn’t want to get the procedure done but the only reason I’ve known it is that he thought his feet would be in stir-ups, ass open in the air and he would be completely humiliated.  Turns out that’s not the case. So that was good in his mind.  However, the fact that he had to have two beautiful nurses shave his junk was awful for him because he was nervous the entire time and then having an attractive young woman man handle him… I guess it took him by surprise.  The procedure was no big deal and he was back to work a few hours later.

I don’t have much sympathy for him.  I’ve tried to be nice to him all week and he’s been a complete ass hat.  He wouldn’t hardly talk to me and when he did he was rude and mean.  I tried to comfort him and be nice and he wanted nothing to do with me.  Then last night he wanted one last roll in the hay because he was convinced he was never having sex again.  I wasn’t particularly in the mood because I had an absolutely awful, long day.  Not to mention that he’s been an ass to me for the last week.  I decided to throw it all aside and give him what he wanted.  Turns out he decided to go to bed an hour earlier than normal and I wasn’t done with my stuff for the day.  I eventually made it into bed and he was still awake and then was turned down.  What the hell just happened??????  Whatever.  I set the alarm for 30 min earlier than normal thinking we’d give it a go in the AM even though I knew I was going to be tired.  Nope.  Nothing.  Seriously….  WTF???

So now that it’s all over and done with he’s having issues with seeing himself as sterile.  He’s depressed about it.  Not sure what I can do to help but I’ve tried to talk to him about it and he’s been rude.  I’ve text him and called him a few times to see how he’s doing and offer to help in any way I can.  He seriously wants nothing to do with me.  He completely resents me for making HIM go through this and not me.  He’s humiliated.  

OK – my OB has had his head up in my girl parts more times these past 5 week than my husband.  He’s been elbow deep nearly every week and I must suffer through it, not to mention how “on display” you are during child birth.  There is a damn spotlight on you and a team of people looking and feeling around your vagina the entire time.  You don’t know humiliation my dear boy….  you have no idea the pride you swallow when you are pregnant, sunshine. 

Anyway – too little too late.  The deed has been done and if maybe he would have talked me about this shit we could have dealt with it like adults.  Now we sit here, both pissed off at the world and for what….  the goal was to make it so we wouldn’t have to worry about having more children.  This was accomplished.  If he didn’t like the plan I’m thinking he should have discussed that with me.

 

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