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The highs and lows of my mood these days is really something else.

Our TV is broke.  It’s been dying for a few weeks now and it has finally decided it is no longer going to turn on.  That’s fine.  The husband and I decided we aren’t going to get a new one right away, rather see how long we can go without on.  I’m good with that.  I figure this way we’d actually have time to connect rather than drown out the silence between us with computers & bad TV.  After 30 minutes he decided that we just needed to go to bed….. just as I was going to suggest we start to think about something just the two of us can do together.  I ask anyway and get shot down.  He doesn’t want to think about it and he’s exhausted.  I say that’s fine, I just wanted to see if we could find something we both liked now that didn’t have to do with our kids.  Something for just the two of us.  He said nothing.

This is where the flood gates opened as he hardly paid any attention to me over the weekend.  I tried and tried.  Nothing.  He asked if I was crying.  I did say yes and the reasons when he asked.  He said no more.

We have a giant king sized bed.  I moved to the middle and fell asleep.  I woke up thinking of how I need to start treating him how I would like to be treated.  That is the golden rule is it not?  Here I am sitting back waiting for him to decide he wants to be with me and I am shutting him out until he does.  Figuratively.

This morning I said what was on my mind and in my heart.  I have him hugs when I wanted a hug and kisses when I wanted to be kissed.  He worked out with me.  I thanked him.  Because I would want to be thanked.