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It’s no secret that last week sucked.

I made it through.  I was convinced on Thursday & Friday I was going to ask him to maybe start looking for a temporary living space for himself.  I begged my head to just give it time to get this crazy emotional week over with and maybe it would be better.  I started feeling like he didn’t think it was so bad and maybe even things were getting better.  I don’t know.  I felt like an asshole but I can’t help myself sometimes.

He says he loves me.  I’m not convinced.  I told him that.  It was mean.  He told me I looked nice at our event Friday night.  I thanked him.  I’m pretty sure he really didn’t think that but he said it and it seemed genuine.  I didn’t let it go un-noticed or unappreciated.  We had an OK time.  It wasn’t anything crazy.  WE were good.  Just the event sucked.  oh well.

Went to my in-laws for the remaining part of the weekend.  Actually had a great time.  I learned how much of an asshole his Dad was.  Stories that even if only half of them were true, they were still awful.  I asked why they ever got married but at the time I guess it wasn’t so noticeable.  He was a smooth talker.  Sort of disgusts me.  I don’t feel bad that he’s all alone now.  I sure hope my husband knows he isn’t destined to be that guy.  It will be awkward knowing this now and seeing him and trying not to know.

WE did well there.  We did things our ‘old’ way and it was comforting to him.  We went to his old church.  We slept on the floor in the living room after giving our kids the bed.  It was cozy.  It was fine.

This weeks focus is on getting done what he wants me to get done.  I’ve asked how I can help him.  He’s told me.  More so out of spite I think because he wanted it done months ago.  I am going to make the time to get it done rather then make the excuse that I was too busy.  Turns out I was too busy to do a lot of the things he asked.  Some ridiculous and some not.  Either way, it’s about showing him that I will do what he needs.  We’ll draw the line later.

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