Pretty much. Six words that sum it all up today.
Today I wish we were separated. Today I wish he wasn’t coming home tonight even though he was gone last night. Today I want to tell the world what he did to me and our family. Today I want his entire professional career to be knicked at the very least by his poor and selfish decisions. Today I want her to have a harder time looking her kids in the eye. Today I want her kids to hate her a little bit more. Today I want my kids to show him how disappointed they are.
I am just done. Today. Perhaps tomorrow will be different. It doesn’t change the fact that in 5 hours or so he’ll walk through the door and I’ll have to put on a show… If I could only disappear before that happens.
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Ohhhh, I’m so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. It’s been 11 months since my husband’s D-Day (and now my situation is MUCH different), but I still have days like that.
Thank you. I am trying to count my blessings as I have many. And if it wasn’t for this awfulness he is putting us through I would not be as strong as I am today. (although today I do feel incredibly weak. It’s not the normal though.) I just hate the bad days. They just come out of no where.
That they do. I can have a month of feeling like I’m starting to be okay with everything and BAM! 3 days of awfulness and I feel like I’m back at square one…
Tomorrow will be different, I promise, and hopefully those days where you want to be done will become less and less frequent. Two years on and I still occasionally have days, actually more like moments, like that! Mostly I want her to suffer like I have. That day is coming. I know it is. And when it does I’m hoping “those moments” will be even less frequent! x